Playlist for July 6th through July 12th, 2008.
1. "My Apologies" The Hush Sound.
2. "I Don't Wanna Stop: Ozzy Osbourne.
3. "The Lost Prophecy" David Costa.
4. "Figure.09" Linkin Park.
5. "Dream On" Aerosmith.




I've noticed over the years of just, well, existing, that I've always been drawn to things dealing with weddings and babies. I mean, I just got done reading two seperate wedding fanfiction scenes and earlier today I was cooing over baby shoes in KMart. I just can't wait to get married and have little babies. I know what you may be thinking; "Babies and marriage arn't all a walk in the park. There's fights and babies waking you up at 2AM and then they grow up..." Yes, I know there are ups and downs to marriage and kids, but I mean...I just can't wait. My inner romantic goes all crazy and screams at the top of her lungs in excitement when I pass, for example, baby shoes or wedding magazines. Is it crazy that I already have my marriage planned out? Like, I know that a lot of girls do that, but my plans have not changed one freaking bit.


It's going to be a hill in Pennsylvania, outside. I want it to be at either sunset or sunrise, preferably the latter, on a spring day. White wooden chairs for the guests, no carpet for the walkway or whatever, and for some reason out door weddings always have one of those curved little things where the pastor and what not stands (I have noooo idea what those are called), but I don't want one of those either. One best man, one maid of honor, and they will be in black. The groom will be in a normal tux, with the exception of his shoes which will be Converse. My dress will be white with some black on it, and yes, I'm dead serious. I refuse to wear pure white. I do. It's horrible. So yeah, I'm thinking a white strapless dress with a two inch thick band of black around the top and bottom of it. My makeup will be just whatever I wear everyday (I would describe it, but I don't know what my style will be at that age), and I will be wearing red Converse. I'm dead serious about that too.


The after party will be in some fancy reception hall, you know, the traditional thing. I haven't gotten around to planning that yet.


So yeah, I mean, I know people don't really see me as a soft, romantic person, but I am. So now I just need to find someone who can make this all come true, and you know, even if we can't afford to fly everyone out to PA and afford all the plans I would want, that would be okay too. I mean, when you think about it, it's not the ceremony that matters. I'd be fine getting married in like, city hall or whatever, but a girl can dream, right?


But then, as always with me, there's always this huge black cloud with lighting bolts and thunder that fogs my mind when I think about this topic because, well, look at how many divorces there are in the world today. I'm so so so so so so so afraid that I'm going to marry someone who is amazing at first, and then he's going to change, and we'll have to get a divorce, and I'll be stuck as a single mother and won't be able to feed my children properly and dskjflkfjfksjdklf.


Yeah, I don't know. I'm just pessimistic. New topic anyone?





I've noticed that dA (and Mibba, by the way) are starting to turn into Myspace/facebook like places, which is totally wrong. Yes, you are allowed to make friends on here, and I encourage that, but first and foremost dA is a place to share your art. If you're not going to post anything will real effort, or anything at all, please leave. If you only joined to mingle with your friends, please leave. If you're only going to post journals with one or two sentences in them, please leave. I mean, is it not enough that you have Myspace/Facebook/Xanga/Last FM/Blogger/IMVU/etc? DeviantArt is about the art, not the number of watchers you have, not about how many page views you have, and not the number of comments you have. If you're not serious about what you're doing, please spare me some grief and leave.





I'm not sleeping because, again, there was another huge fight in my house. I mean, Jesus Christ, it's like a sport here. Bitch bitch bitch fight fight fight scream scream scream. I mean, don't get me wrong, I do fight with my brother, but it's because he pesters, and pesters, and instigates, and instigates, and it just gets on my nerves because he won't stop even when I ask him to until eventually my anger control issue suddenly becomes unmanageable and I just flip my fucking lid. Arg.


And people wonder why I hate my life most of the time.